Throughout my life, the West has become more and more
familiar to me and yet permanently foreign. I don’t mean foreign in a negative
sense, as something scary or forever incomprehensible. I’ve never lived there
for more than a significant period of time, but I can never stay away for long.
It doesn’t feel quite like home, exactly. More like… well, I’m not quite sure.
The West has become my annual pilgrimage. I’ve gone West
five of the last six years, and six of the last eight. When I say “gone West,”
what I really mean is “gone hiking or backpacking.” It all began in 2005, with
a ten-day trek through the Sangre de Cristo Mountains of northern New Mexico,
my final act as a Boy Scout. The Boy Scouts of America run the largest youth
camp in the world in the Sangre de Cristos. Philmont Scout Ranch was
incredible, and totally captured by lowland-bred imagination. A part of our
trek took us above treeline – so high up that trees could not grow! As we
ascended Comanche Peak I got more and more excited, and by the time we summited
Mount Phillips, I was giddy.
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Mount Phillips |
This obsession with altitude – fuck yea, bro! – has never
gone away, but my pilgrimages soon began to include other joys. My girlfriend,
then skittish about getting into a relationship, sealed the deal by inviting me
on a spring break backpacking trip to the Canyonlands area of Utah, immediately
after we started seeing each other in 2007. Instead of up, up, up, the
destination was down – a descent into a canyon and back out again. Philmont had
been a last hurrah of youth, spent with guys I’ve known almost my entire life,
and their Scoutmaster father (I can never thank him enough for being such a
wonderful influence in my life, and opening new worlds through Scouting). Utah
was about making new friends and getting to know Emily. Two scenes really sum
up Utah. Scene 1: from down below, look up at a canyon rim, as a cloud passes
over the sun. Suddenly, straight out of an old Western, a group of braves on
horseback rides up to the edge of the canyon rim. The chief’s headdress is
silhouetted dark against the sky. Part of Scene 1 is fiction, but the memory is
vivid. I still feel like it happened.
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Keep an eye out |
Scene 2 requires less description: stars, stars, stars. We
made the Utah trip in mid-March, and it was cold. It was also in the desert,
and far from any artificial light. The night we spent on the flat plain after
hiking out of the canyon had the best stars I’ve ever seen. Because it was
flat, we had the full-on dome-of-stars-reaching-the-horizon view. Philmont was
the green West of the Rockies; Utah was the red West of John Wayne and Clint
Eastwood.
Summer 2007 ensured I would be coming West for the rest of
my life. I returned to Philmont to work as a Ranger, leading Boy Scout troops
for the beginning of their treks. Rangers worked with troops during their first
four days at the Ranch: preparing them for the trek in base camp, then for
three days on the trail. It was essentially entrepreneurial. Our job was to prepare
the crews to lead themselves through the wilderness. We taught navigation,
first aid, cooking, safety, and soft skills such as conflict management and
leadership. After we sent the troops off into the wilderness on their own, we
simply had to find our way back to base camp, no matter the distance and often
solo. We Rangers considered our job to be the most interesting and glamorous on
the Ranch – and we were right. In three months, I spent a total of two nights
with a solid roof over my head. More than that, working as a ranger combined
being in the mountains with the opportunity to contribute to what for many
scouts is a formative experience of their youth.
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I want to go back to Philmont |
The vibe among the Rangers at Philmont was laid back, thrill
seeking, and completely centered on backpacking. Demographically, we were 75%
liberal arts kids and 25% conservative Christians, 100% living in harmony with
each other and with our shared passion. You swap stories about your troops and
plot ridiculous expeditions that involve 15 mile days (you’re in amazing shape
after carrying 35-pound packs up and down mountains nonstop for several months)
and sleeping under the stars in innovative locations (“Anybody want to crash
the Tooth?”). After Philmont, I developed a facility for backpacking similar to
riding a bike or driving stick. I might get out of shape, but I’m never going
to forget how to do it. I also got to feed my craving for altitude, climbing my
first 14,000-foot peaks in Colorado. After that, everything else seemed like
small ball.
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Descending Mount Bross |
Since 2008, I’ve made a trip to Colorado every year except
2009. Every trip begins with Pizza Rolls and Seinfeld at a good friend’s house,
and continues with a mini epic in the Colorado wilderness somewhere west of
Denver. Every trip has included a Fourteener climb (or at least an attempt). So
the altitude cravings still get sated. But it satisfies something more,
something deeper. Something that draws me back again and again, despite the
pricey airline ticket and the cost in scarce time off. I can’t stay away for
more than 12 months or so.
As the West becomes more familiar by the year, it remains
larger-than-life and magical in my head. I return yearly, but I can never stay
as long as I’d like. I never quite get enough, no it never becomes mundane and
normal. Indeed, because it is an escape from daily life, I appreciate every
hike, short breath, and moose encounter more than I would otherwise. My
relationship with the West is a paradox: I return again and again, but it never
gets old. The price I pay is longing. As much as I love it, I can never stay as
long as I’d like. By late winter 2013, I’m already itching to get back out
again.
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Colorado 2012: Keeping in touch with good friends |